Monday, August 9, 2010

The Grouch Lists It: Top Ten Movies That Could Use A Remake.

10) The Last Star Fighter

From what I hear Disney is actually planing a sequel to this 1984 science fiction adventure film and to be honest why shouldn't they. Video games played a major part in this cult classic film and video games are more prominent in today's society than they were when the original film was made and a fresh new coat of 2010 paint may be just what this needs to launch it into the mainstreams hearts and minds. The original film tells the story of Alex Rogan (Lance Guest) a teenager living in a trailer park with his mother (Barbara Bosson) and little brother (Chris Hebert). Outside of being an handyman at the trailer park, his sole hobby is playing Starfighter, a stand-up arcade game where the player defends "the Frontier" from "Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada" in a space battle. Eventually he becomes the highest scoring player of the game. Shortly afterwards, he is approached by the game's inventor, Centauri (Robert Preston) who invites him to take a ride. Alex does so before discovering that the vehicle is actually a spaceship; moreover, Centauri is a disguised alien who whisks him off to the far away planet of Rylos. Its a cool story and I personal think it would be fun to see it done again on the big screen with consoles replacing arcade machines of course .
9) Macbeth

To be honest this is a real personal choice for me and I really don't have all that much to say about it.Macbeth was the first piece of Shakespeare I ever had to read in school and as part of it I was forced to watch the 2006 Australian Geoffrey Wright directed train wreck that was Macbeth or M as it was also called. My biggest problem with this film was not that they tried to do a modern take on a classic work but the cast that they choose.Sam Worthington(Jake sully:Avatar) is not the first person who comes to mind when I think of one of the greatest literary charterers of all time. Macbeth is a timeless tale and god willing there will be a film made for this generation that can encapsulate that.
8) The Warriors

I freaking love The Warriors my father freaking love the warriors and thanks to "Rock Star Games" The warriors the video a new generation of young people will learn to love the warriors to. You can imagine my surprise when I heard that this Walter Hill directed 1979 cult film would be slated for a possible 2012 Tony Scot(Man On Fire/ Domino) directed remake. The original film tells the story of colorful new york street gang the warriors who after a misunderstanding at a gangland summit must fight their way back to there way back home to Coney Island. The remake would relocate the story to current day L.A. and use actual gang members to fill out the cast. On the whole its a pretty dam ballzy move on Scot's part and personally I cant wait to see what comes of it.
7) Nell

To be 100% honest until last week I had absolutely no idea this film even existed.It was shown to be and my class as part of a psychology course and no one in my class had ever heard of it either. The films tells the story of Nell(Jodie Foster) a feral women living in the backwoods of North Carolina cut off from the rest of the world.Then civilization enters her life in the form of two doctors (Liam Neeson and Natasha Richardson), who discover her and seek to help/study her. While the films was meant as a drama the way it was shot and staged it should have been a horror film. There are times in this film that if Leather Face or The Devils Rejects came dancing out I would have honestly not been surprised.I would honestly love to see what such an unintentionally creepy movie could be turned into if given to someone like Rob Zombie or Darren Lynn Bousman.
6)Constantine

My best buddy Phil loves the Vertigo Comic Hellblazer, so when there was talk of a film based on the comics he was obviously excited. He invited me to go see it with him on opening weekend and while I felt the film was nothing special my buddy look as if someone had just smacked him across the face with his own dead cat. Having not gotten a chance to read the comics I can't speak to which was better but after having Phil bitch to me about it for what feels like the last five years I feel its only right to get him to shut up by asking Hollywood to due another movie one that stays closer to the look and feel of the Hellblazer comics. Personally I don't care about Hellblazer and only hope Keanu's next big project a live action Cowboy Bebop movie will be better than Constantine.
5) Of Mice And Men

Of all the books I've had to read in School "Of Mice And Men" is easily my favorite hands down. And I also really enjoyed the 1992 John Malkovich and Gary Sinise(also directed movie). However I can't help but feel in the year 2010 we could all stand to see a new take on this classic story. Perhaps see a film where the perspective is constantly switching between what George sees and what Lenny sees with there contrasting world view. In the hands of someone like Spike Jones I thin a movie like that would be possible. 4) The Punisher

Frequent readers of my articles will know I love The Punisher but the sad truth is Hollywood doesn't love The Punisher. There has been a total three Punisher movies and none of them have really been able to measure up to fans expectations.1989 saw Dolph Lungren suck ass and be forgettable 2004 saw Thomas Jane got the characters and tone right but failed at action. And finally in 2008 we saw Ray Stevenson got the action and black humor right but failed in terms of story telling. The Punisher is the perfect anti-hero and god willing one day we will see a movie that is able to combine all things I love about the character.
3) Jayson & The Argonauts

If your like me after seeing the new Clash Of The Titian's then the prospect of another remake of a classic Ray Harryhausen probably turns your stomach something awful. And while I can't blame you the reality is that Argonauts is a great movie that could benefit from a 2010 makeover if in the right hands. I personally don't know who would be right for the project all I know is I would like to see Jayson and the crew of the Argo look for the golden fleece once again.
2) Freaks

I know asking for a remake of a 1932 Tod Browning cult classic is kind of a monkey's paw sort of wish especially considering a lot of the deformities presentment in the film no longer exist due to advances in modern medicine. I for one would really like to see what a movie like this might look like in the hands of someone like Tim Burton or Quentin Tarintino. As with any film about lovable freaks the projected would need the writers who could really bring there own experiences to the film. The hardest part of remaking this movie would be deciding to use people with real deformity's or actors using makeup.
1) The Running Man

Man alive do I love the running man its prime vintage Arnold Schwarzenegger and its loosely based on a book written by Steven King(Richard Bachman). In the film convicts face a deadly a deadly game show were they must fight for their lives in order to clear their names. Its all action all the time and my favorite part has to be the shows hunters a group of colorful badasses all sporting a killer gimmick(Chainsaw,Fire,Ice). While I love the original and even own a copy of the blu-ray I can't help but see how the movie is showing its age. It would be great to see a remake in today's day and age especially considering how blood sports and reality TV play a much bigger part in our world today then they did in 1987.
Well that's my list and I hope you all enjoyed it if you have a film you would like to see remade feel free to comment-THANK YOU

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